Ex- English skipper Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet confront the full ramifications of the muscle-deteriorating condition that ended the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was involved in the 2003 championship side and won numerous English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast a fortnight after finding out he has the illness.
"There's something about looking the future in the face and not wanting to fully comprehend that at the moment," he stated.
"It's not that I don't understand where it's going. We comprehend that. But there is certainly a reluctance to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, conversing alongside his wife Annie, says rather he feels "calm" as he focuses on his present wellbeing, his family and making preparations for when the condition worsens.
"Maybe that's trauma or perhaps I deal with matters differently, and after I have the information, it's simpler," he added.
Early Indications
Moody discovered he had MND after observing some reduced power in his shoulder area while working out in the gym.
After physiotherapy failed to improve the problem, a series of scans indicated neural pathways in his neurological system had been affected by MND.
"You're presented with this diagnosis of MND and we're understandably quite moved about it, but it's so strange because I think nothing's wrong," he continued.
"I don't experience ill. I don't sense unwell
"My indications are very minor. I have a small amount of muscle deterioration in the hand and the shoulder.
"I'm still able to performing all activities. And with luck that will continue for as long as is attainable."
Condition Development
MND can develop quickly.
As per the non-profit MND Association, the condition takes the lives of a third of people within a year and over half within 730 days of diagnosis, as eating and breathing become harder.
Medical care can only retard deterioration.
"It's never me that I feel sad for," stated an moved Moody.
"It's about the sadness around having to tell my mum - as an only child - and the implications that has for her."
Household Consequences
Conversing from the family home with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by feeling when he spoke about breaking the news to his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the heartbreaking news, commenting: "That represented the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"They are two excellent boys and that was pretty heartbreaking," Moody stated.
"We were seated on the settee in crying, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog bounded over and began cleaning the tears off our faces, which was somewhat silly."
Moody stated the emphasis was staying in the present.
"There is no treatment and that is why you have to be extremely intensely concentrated on just welcoming and savoring each moment now," he commented.
"According to Annie, we've been really fortunate that the sole determination I made when I left playing was to spend as much time with the kids as feasible. We don't get those years back."
Athlete Connection
Elite competitors are disproportionately impacted by MND, with research suggesting the prevalence of the disease is up to six times greater than in the wider community.
It is considered that by restricting the O2 accessible and creating damage to neural pathways, frequent, intense physical activity can activate the condition in those inherently genetically susceptible.
Sports Career
Moody, who earned 71 England caps and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was called 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in honour of his courageous, relentless method to the game.
He competed through a bone injury of his leg for a period with Leicester and once initiated a workout scuffle with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he abandoned a practice gear and started throwing himself into tackles.
After coming on as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the rear of the throw-in in the crucial moment of play, setting a base for half-back Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to score the match-winning drop-goal.
Support Community
Moody has previously notified Johnson, who captained England to that victory, and a couple of other previous team-mates about his medical situation, but the remaining individuals will be discovering his news with the rest of public.
"There shall be a time when we'll need to depend on their assistance but, at the moment, just having that type of affection and acknowledgment that people are present is all that matters," he stated.
"This game is such a excellent family.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even should it concluded now, I've valued all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"When you have the opportunity to call your passion your profession, it's one of the most significant privileges.
"To have done it for so long a duration with the teams that I did it with was a joy. And I am aware they will desire to support in whatever way they can and I look forward to having those discussions."
